Where we are in life is based on our identity. Our beliefs about ourselves are based on that identity. Our future worth and opportunity is based on that identity. Many people think that if they change their circumstances (e.g. getting a new, higher paying job), that their identity will follow suit. Actually, this approach is backwards; in reality, we change our identity from the inside out and the change in our circumstances follows.
Here are five things that you can start doing today to change your life by transforming identity:
1. Change who you hang around. Plato said that “People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.” For better or worse, we become more like the people that we hang around. Your associations have a lot to do with where you’re at in every area of your life. Your friends are going to influence you either way, so why not pick the friends who will be a positive influence? Create an “advisory board” of friends who will lift you up, challenge you, inspire you, and hold you accountable.
2. Read more. Reading allows you to shape your identity independently of your current circumstances. You internalize the wisdom and knowledge of the authors who you read. They say that there are two types of experiences that we can learn and grow from: personal experience and the experience that we borrow from others. Reading allows you to learn from mentors who you don’t have access to in your daily life. Learning from other people’s stories of challenges and triumph is far less painful and time-consuming than going through those challenges yourself. That is why most of the world’s greatest leaders have been avid readers.
3. Keep your word. Are you a person that keeps your word to others? What about the promises that you make to yourself? If you make your word your bond, both to yourself and to others, you will turn yourself into a person that shapes your own identity through the power of your pledge. Becoming a person that keeps your word starts with doing the little things, like calling someone back when you say you will or arriving to an appointment at the time agreed on. Once people know that they can count on you, you will be seen as a person whose words come to pass. You will come to see yourself that way too. Eventually, if you make a promise to yourself and others to make some change in your life, you will feel bound to keep your word.
4. Challenge yourself. Just like great athletes have to constantly push themselves physically, we all have to take on challenges outside of our comfort level to become champions. If you find yourself in a place where you live your life on auto pilot, going through the motions and never really stretching yourself, chances are you will be in the same spot five years from now that you are in today. Challenges keep us fresh, give us energy, and most importantly, turn us unto stronger people capable of more than we were previously able.
5.Get crystal clear about your why. For the past ten years I have said that mankind is lazy until something catches his heart. Your why is what fuels your life. If you don’t have a clear picture of your why, you will never stay motivated through the how. Our natural state is to be lazy and to take the path of least resistance, unless we are motivated by the why in our heart. What’s your why? Really meditate on it, write it down and read it often. You will find that you have more energy and more passion. Why is transformative.
If you dream of changing your life, you have to first become the person who can bring about that change. As Albert Einstein wisely pointed out, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
Written by Patrick Bet-David
Improve your self confidence in 15 minutes
I used to be frighteningly under confident in social situations. And although people who know me now would never believe I used to doubt myself so much I literally had to learn confidence until it became a natural part of me. I can tell you relaxed optimistic confidence is just, well so much more fun.
Here I'll tell you about the things that made the most difference to my confidence levels...
Some people have naturally high levels of confidence but everybody can learn to be more confident
Firstly, it's important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means, otherwise you won't know when you've got it! So, self confidence means:
1) Being calm. For every situation in life you need to run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional 'leakage' into a experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to relax in a greater range of situations.
2) Being cool. The second part of self confidence is about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be 'cool' in a situation really means relaxing with not knowing how things will pan out. If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you can do pretty much anything.
3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you. You know when you imagine what some place is going to be like before you go there but when you get there it is totally different to your imagination? That's how reliable your imagination is! Stop trusting your imagination so much. I've long since stopped bothering to imagine what others think of me because so often I've turned out to be wrong.
4) Being specific - where do you want confidence? 'Confidence' is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are already confident that you can read these words or can switch a light on and off. So you don't need more confidence everywhere. To get what you want in life you have to establish exactly what you do want. Where do you want confidence in your life? Think about the specific situations now and write them down. You beginning to steer your brain towards confidence.
5) Understanding that what you expect is what you get. Your brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. When a task has been set in your brain it will do everything it can do to bring about the completion of that task. If you've tried to recall someone's name but can't, hours later you'll often find their name pops into your head.
The 'trying to recall' experience set the task or blueprint for your brain's future subconscious behaviour which eventually produced the name for you - when you weren't thinking about it consciously. You can use this natural mechanism to start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your subconscious mind, the next point is vital.
6) Don't task your mind with negatives. Instead of: 'I don't want to screw up' (which sets the task of 'screwing up' for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! Your brain doesn't work towards what to do by being told what not to do. And nature has given you a wonderful natural tool to set the right task blueprints with.
7) Use nature's goal-setter: Now you understand how vital it is to set the right task for you brain, you need to know how to do this reliably. Good hypnosis will strongly 'program' the right blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination. If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed while in a relaxed hypnotic state it will be hard for your unconscious mind to do anything else. The blueprint for relaxation has been set firmly into your subconscious mind.
3 simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:
1) Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want to feel confident in. Remember 'confidence' doesn't mean anything until you attach it to something specific.
2) Focus on words in your mind right now that describe how you do want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such as 'calm', 'relaxed' or 'focused'. Remember your brain works on clear positive instructions.
3) Close your eyes for as long as you like and think about how those words feel. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right blueprint or 'task' for your unconscious mind.
You can repeat this often to make it more effective and use it with as many areas of your life as you need to. If you listen to a hypnotic cd or download that can make the benefits even more powerful (see my profile below). So if you feel like you'd be blessed with less confidence than some other people you can start redressing the balance by using your mind in the right way right now.
It took me years to learn how to be more confident - now you can do it in a fraction of the time. Good luck!
Boost your confidence now at HypnosisDownloads.com
Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.com.
Believe the hype or think for yourself
For too long hypnosis has had a bad or 'difficult' press. If a person doesn't understand something they have 3 options open to them.
1) They might be sceptical and therefore save the trouble of looking further and possibly benefiting.
2) They may conclude it is dangerous and to be avoided at all costs.
3) They may spend time discovering the truth behind the hype.
If you don't know much about a topic it's easy to be suspicious. Some people assume hypnosis is akin to a carnival side show, others consider it mystic mumbo jumbo or 'mind control.' For those who look beyond the hype the truth is far more illuminating.
The most powerful tool you possess
There are potentially huge benefits for those who use hypnosis as part of everyday life. When you understand hypnosis you start to see its potential to improve human performance in the physical, emotional and intellectual realms. For me, rumour, gossip and suspicion weren't good enough.
I determined to learn all I could about hypnosis - I learned every fact and practised every technique under the sun. I took several training courses - some good, some terrible. I invested thousands of hours of devoted study to hypnosis and discovered just what is possible. I hypnotised friends, neighbours and work colleagues. Hypnosis greatly changed things for me on a personal level
How hypnosis helped me
I used to be shy. Thanks to hypnosis I can now talk to thousands at a time and can approach anybody calmly and confidently.
I used to have poor concentration and procrastinate; thanks to hypnosis I can instantly motivate myself.
I used to find physical work outs and exercise exhausting but because of hypnosis I am now in the best shape of my life.
Incidentally I also stopped myself blushing with hypnosis. Now if ever I have a difficult call or conversation coming up, something I may naturally feel reluctant to do (you know the kind of thing) I spontaneously self hypnotise and rehearse the upcoming situation feeling good, with myself remaining calm. In this way I habitually set my own emotional 'blue prints' for up coming situations. Having said that it's naturally that some people have concerns or half digested 'hand me down' ideas regarding hypnosis. A common one is the one about 'mind control.' However what does this really mean?
Why you are more in control of yourself in hypnosis
If someone expresses concerns about being 'controlled' in hypnosis what they mean is they don't want to be like a robot, an automaton that is forced to obey the every whim of the hypnotist. We can't help but influence others but we don't control them. To understand why you need to understand hypnosis better.
So what is hypnosis like?
Hypnosis isn't like a coma. It's not unconsciousness - more a subtle shifting of consciousness. In hypnosis, you can still think logically but you also have access to the 'software' of your mind so that you can update instinctive emotional and physical responses. In fact the hypnotised subject (not the hypnotist) calls the shots. When I hypnotise someone I need to go at their speed and respond to their needs and expectations. Hypnosis will give you more control in your own life because of what it enables you to do.
How can I be so sure?
Because over the decades I've seen all kinds of people, all ages and from all backgrounds turn their lives around thanks to hypnosis. When you use hypnosis for yourself it improves confidence in all kinds of ways. When you use it to change other's lives it just blows you away. This is what I mean.
When I first hypnotised someone to feel no sensation in a painful arthritic arm it was an incredible feeling. When I first cured life long phobias quickly and comfortably I was astounded. When I stopped hardened alcoholics from drinking and even got a heroin addict off the stuff and back into mainstream life again I started to feel angry that people could just associate hypnosis with entertainment.
With the aid of hypnosis I (and many people I have trained and worked with) have helped severely depressed people feel strong and positive again. The rewards and satisfactions are hard to describe. I'm going to take a stand against ignorance and short sightedness around hypnosis and here's why.
Why you need to reclaim hypnosis for yourself
Hypnosis is your birthright. It's nature's optimum learning tool. In fact to learn and perform anything well you need to experience a natural focussing of attention, a natural kind of hypnosis. To be successful hypnosis needs to be your companion and friend.
Successful people use it naturally all the time because hypnosis is natural. It's the way we learn new responses. Unlike medications its side effects are purely positive - one expectant mother I worked with to feel relaxed during child birth later reported that she was also more relaxed when flying!
Hypnosis is easy to learn and every body can benefit. Hypnosis is a safe environment to 'try out' new behaviours and emotional patterns before you experience them for real. So the young man can ask a woman out for a date many times in calm relaxed hypnosis so that by the time he does it for real it feels real and natural and relaxed. Sports people who use hypnosis learn new quicker and more accurately. So hypnosis gives you more control of yourself and your life, it's natural and gives you instant benefits and it's a way of 'trying on' and establishing new patterns of emotional response and behaviour, Hypnosis enables you to develop yourself as a human being.
HypnosisDownloads.com offer a free course called 'Learn Hypnosis in 5 Days'.
Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.com.